Delicate Art of Balance.

You know when you have one of "those" weeks? It still seems ironic that I'm speaking on the balance of home life and work life this next week at ALT.

Maybe this week came as a reminder at how precious that balance can be!

This week:

Ella had the croup (including major breathing scare), stomach flu and head cold

Ian: head cold and stomach flu

Addie: Head cold

Me: Stomach flu and head cold

Kenneth: miraculously steered clear, but was designated laundry doer

All while...

I finished a fabric line due this week (oooh! It's cute!!) and managed to pull 2 all nighters and several other rather intensive nights of work

I finished a chapter book illustrations due this week

I spoke in Relief Society (my church's women's organization) on entrepreneurship

My trusty $$$ printer of 5 years died  on me right in the middle of a very long and important job

Prepped for speaking at ALT this week (boy...do I have a lot to say on family balance!)

And managed to really start my sugar free living. It's awesome by the way.

* * * * *

Let's just say I'm pretty pooped. And in very good spirits because we have a 3 day weekend.

But in thinking about this MYTH of work life balance, I really do have a lot to say.

I've had some really awesome discussions with my fellow speakers, Brooke from INCHMARK, Kathryn from SNIPPET AND INK, CHRYSULA from Chrysula Winegar ...... and they all have such wonderful insights. But I think we've all come to agree that "balance" doesn't mean do all things well all the time, on time and in time. Rather, it means that you shift from section to section in your life, in good communication with those who support you (your spouse, etc.) and that you are realistic about what you need to do and when.

This week was one of those exception weeks when it all comes to a head and all energy is focused forward.

There are other weeks when the home is the main project. And then maybe work deadlines fall into the next week's focus. There really isn't such thing as doing it "all." And that I guess is a big part of what I'm speaking of on Thursday.

When I am working really intensely on designing, my laundry piles up. High. And then when I'm getting house projects done, I get a little behind on work. But it's an ebb and flow, and that's called balance.

I think for a very long time I was plagued by this false notion that to be a good mom and to keep a good house, I'd have to be all things for all people. Ha! That idea didn't last long.

Now, my family is just as much a part of my work as my work is a part of my family. It's a dance that is hard to really outline, but it's worked out so far due to a fantastic husband who comes home from work and cooks dinner, and my kids who are so incredibly supportive of their artist mom.

Just yesterday Addie proudly came out of her room wearing all her Sarah Jane attire. She hugged me and said "I love wearing all your art, Mommy."

I'm still in game of learning how to swing less dramatically from project to project, and I'm pressed on capturing those "still" moments and holding onto them as long as possible. Being still, taking time to enjoy each moment for what it is, is so vital to balanced living. My home will never be Martha Steward ready but my home can be happy and filled with laughter (even when one of the family members...I won't say who....dropped all the fresh eggs from the day on the floor yesterday) which to me is a perfectly balanced home.

I won't say it's easy. There is a rhythm that is so personal to our home and to Kenneth and I. He's out in the garage designing a trade show booth with the kids, while I have Addie on my studio floor drawing while I work on a deadline.  But that's the way we roll. Most days my work is done when the kids come home from school, and I won't touch it again until they are in bed. But work still creeps into family living, and it's been a learning curve these past couple years. But it's all beautiful!

I'll be sharing more of what we discuss at ALT during our panel. If you are attending, be sure to come! It's going to be powerhouse. Lot's of ideas for sure!

And, because I can't post without a sketch of the day:

Slow and steady wins the race.

Cheers!

I've always wished I looked good in Wayfarer glasses.

* To keep my promise for 2011 I’m including artwork/doodles of mine in every post

I'm getting ready for ALT Design Summit next week, and I am really looking forward to it! It's always so wonderful to meet and visit with creative movers and shakers...I always come away so inspired!

This year I'm speaking on a panel on Work : Life : Balance. Ha! As if I have it all figured out! I laughed out loud when they asked me to be on that panel.It's the quest of my life.

But maybe that's why I'm on the panel. It's ALWAYS a work in progress. That's the point. There is encouragement to be had in the mean time.

I'm wondering if any of you have any questions for me that I could bring up on the panel, address and write up here on the blog.

We're all in this together. We're all busy people trying to live beautiful lives. And though we are all at different stages, I think there are some great discussions to be had.

Like yesterday how I couldn't participate in the long awaited planned for weeks conference call with my fellow panelists because I had a feverish flu bound 5 year old on my lap. Some things can just wait. Not the 5 year old, of course!

Anyways, If any of you have thoughts on work : life : creative: family balance that you want to open up here, I'd love to hear your thoughts, insights, questions, and advice!

And yes. It's true. I have always wished I could pull off the wayfarer glasses look. It's not flattering on everyone. Darn it all.

xoxo

sarah

dancing upon 2012

I came across a poem in October that I haven't been able to get out of my mind.

Had I the heavens’ embroidered cloths, Enwrought with golden and silver light, The blue and the dim and the dark cloths Of night and light and the half light, I would spread the cloths under your feet: But I, being poor, have only my dreams; I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

~ W.B. Yeats

Do you know that one? I found it while watching videos of this brilliant man, and he referred to it in regards to eductation and what we are offering our children.

It makes me think about what children offer to the world, and how we, in the name of responsibility, sense, reason or just plan ignorance, often sweep it underfoot. Or, worse, step on it.  Sometimes twice. It makes me pause to think.

I am still a dreamer. And yet I am responsible for 3 little dreamers. I take that very seriously. Very.

I watched the Muppet Movie over Christmas holiday. I cried. Twice. And not just because I am a Muppet Fan. But because I believe in dreams. The basic good in people. The power of seeing something that doesn't yet exist, but could. That's what life is about really. Chasing the things that really matter, but might seem silly in the eyes of an ever changing world.

So this year, I'm resolving to do more than just lose weight, get our little home more organized,  journal our family's life better, and be healthier (which was last year's list. And the year before...oh dear.)

This year, I'm resolving to lose the stress and let the harsh world stay away a little bit more.

Laugh more

Dream more

Pay attention to silly ideas

Color my world brighter

Listen to those tiny whispers of an idea

Get on the floor and play more

You'd think that because I'm an artist for children that I spend my days in la-la land with pencils and crayons, creating mermaids and rockets with my kids all day. Ha! I wish.  On the contrary, I'm constantly in a battle between the stresses of motherhood and my own creativity.  It's a balancing act that I fight for every day. Truly.

Like today, when I had a fantastic idea I wanted to illustrate on even just scrap paper or a napkin even...but we ended up doing dental work on one child, a spontaneous new school visit for another child, a no nap day for the other child....and pretty soon my mind is in a "can we afford this?...My kitchen is a mess!...how can we rearrange our schedule to make this work?...Ack! the library books are due....Ooops...I forgot to call so-and-so....Don't forget to go sign the kid's school papers....Turn around...you missed the exit...." and so on and so on.  Not to mention the hours and hours of work I do daily.

The Mommy Brain I call it. And while that is all part of being a parent, it challenges the space I have in my heart for the things that make life beautiful, or are too whimsical to make it to the top of the list. And oooooooh that list gets long. The stress of a parent is my biggest enemy.  I confess that I've become a worrier. Something a parent can only really understand.  You know what I mean?

Silly, really.

So this year....2012

I'm waking up more lighthearted. I'm believing in what's in my gut. I'm listening to my children's unfinished and messy ideas. I'm offering my heart and not my head. I'm letting go of the worry.

What about you? Are you re-evaluating the way you are seeing this year?

Me too.

xo

sarah

Oh! PS:

I almost forgot to tell you! I don't think that I mentioned that the 2012 Calendar is 50% off now! There's a limit on these ones...just so you are aware. And I while I made these last year, it sure seems to fit my feelings as of late:)

Available here and here.

Precious Christmas.

This is Mary's profile from from the book. I liked it so much, I wanted to repaint it.  So serene, silent and calm. I'm thinking of just that as I enter this Christmas Season.  Turning off the noise, and focus on Christmas.

It's time to sign off for the year. Time to tune things down, celebrate and contemplate. I'm thinking of all my blessings. All the miracles of this year. All the struggles and the weights on my shoulders...and how they've made me stronger. All the ways in which the Lord has blessed our little family, as we've journeyed and adventured one more year together.

The reality is, that's its all so wonderful.

My heart is just really full.

I hope you all have a wonderful Holiday Season and New Year!

I'll see you all in 2012!

Love to you and yours,

Sarah

eleven.

Dear Baby Faces,

People told you love would get richer and more amazing, but you had no idea how.  You couldn't comprehend loving more than you already did. All you knew were the hopes and dreams you were willing to work for no matter what. What you didn't know, was that every bump, every bruise, every child, every laugh, every dream come true, made your heart stretch bigger.  And then there was more room for love. Eleven years more love.

And oh, it is so grand.

Kissing the moon....

Sarah

Lucky.

A bit of news:  LUCKY magazine, the seasonal LUCKY KIDS insert to be exact, featured my blog in their best blog round up!

Wow. That was fun to see!

And what made me smile, is that the thumbnail image is my son's head. He has a cute head. But he's 5, and I don't know if I'll show him that his profile is shared with Jessica Simpson. Not just yet at least. Don't want him to get any ideas, you know?

No, really...I'm really so flattered that they'd choose my blog as "The Best Blogs" in their Winter issue! Wow. Really. Wow. Thanks so much Lucky!

As part of the feature, I'll be GUEST BLOGGING this week at LUCKY KIDS with a daily round up of handmade, creative, and great finds for the holidays. I used to blog more about my favorite things...but now thanks to twitter, pinterest, etc. I can post things like that there. So this was fun to put together! Come say hi!

And as promised, I can't finish a post with out a sketch from my current sketchbook.

I've been thinking about cold bunnies lately. You?

Naptime and new blogging.

Confession: I don't draw very much. Well, for how much I really should be pulling out pencil and paper as an illustrator, I just don't.

I can think of a few good reasons:

3 busy children. Laundry. Cooking. School Lunches. Sleep. Studio deadlines. Email. Homework. Driving. Errands. Phone calls. Church service. Dishes. Playing with kids. Cleaning.

Well, all that said, I really wish I had more time to just draw what I was thinking. Cause that's how I think. In pictures and words.

But at the same time, as an illustrator, I need to be working at it every day if I ever want to get where I want to be.

I've tried to think of a motivation for a long time...but I finally found a way give myself the motivation to sketch every day.

I really like blogging. It takes time. I'm fast at it now, but it still takes time. I'm not willing to give up blogging to make more time to create, so I've decided to do what my blog actually says: "Illustrate Childhood."

I hereby commit to having an illustration in every single blog post from here on out!

There. I said it.

Ha ha. Just watch...I won't blog as much now:)

No...this is just what I need.   I need be sketching every day, and I'm telling the universe so that I can't slack off. And if anything...this place will get a lot more interesting:)

I'll still have photos...but I'm always going to have some art.

Deal? Deal.

And speaking of the lack of time I have to illustrate, here's what my darling sweet 2 1/2 year old looks like when she is supposed to be napping: She comes out of her room, tip-toes oh so daintily down the hallway, and freezes in this very pose as soon as she sees me.   And then she stands there..arms out, tongue out, avoiding my glance...completely frozen in place until I pick her up.

You know when you want to laugh so hard, but you can't ... so you turn your face away and hold it? But the tears are coming and your stomach hurts?

That happens to me about 1:30 p.m. every afternoon in the family room. Just me and her.

Right now, she's winning. I mean, how can you get upset? It stinks to have cute kids.

Hana Part 1.

I'm back! Oh my goodness. Talk about a week of recharging and getting back to my roots. I don't even know where to start! Kenneth and I spent our honeymoon Kauai, my first time taking him to my favorite place on earth. He "got it" right away, and fell in love with the locals, the islands and the island culture after having spent time with my mother and her pigeon-english, her obsession with water and the color green. We've planned on coming back (without kids) all these years, and finally made it! My parents were planning a trip as well, and so we combined our stay.

So, everyone has their "home" place, right?  Home is wherever I am with my husband and children, but there are certain places that take me back to my real authentic self....free of all the hats that I tend to wear. The place where I can just "BE."

Hawaii is that place for me.

But maybe not for the same reasons that people like to travel to Hawaii. The islands are that place for me, because that is where my mother, and her mother and her mother call home. Since the early 30's my mother's side of the family has history on that island. My Father as well, with 3 generations of his father's serving their LDS missions there. There's a story of my Great Grand Father helping princess Lelekulani from tipping in a canoe. There are lots of stories.

And lots of memories. My very first memories are of the color of the ocean looking down from my Great grandmother's apartment. I stood up for the first time on the beach on Oahu and my first car-sick experience was at the age of 1 on the road to Hana. To this day, I still get carsick.

My first experiences and memories of color are from when I was 2 1/2 visiting my family. It's a really special place.

Hana is a remote town 2 hours from anything or any major location on Maui. It's one of the few places that locals have been able to keep "real Hawaii." Probably because it's only accessable by car, on a windy one lane road (well, 2 lane, but it's really the size of one lane!) that only lets you go about 15 miles an hour because (and my mother and grandfather counted once) 397 switchbacks one way.

My Great Grandfather purchased a small plot of land there in the 30's. And I'm so glad he did. Land filled with roaming cattle, horses, and chickens. Rain forest jungle and jetting black cliffs covered in green mossy grasses. Waterfalls by the hundreds. 57 bridges. Hikes you won't find on any map. There is only one real beach, and it happens to be the most amazing beach I've ever been to on any of the islands. There are 2 tiny stores crammed with random imported goods, horrible cell reception and we didn't even seem to notice that the internet would cut out several times a day. And finally, my favorite local people who always remind me how to truly live in the present. It was heaven.

I can't even share all that we did and didn't do on our trip...there is too much! But I do want to say how much I love this place.

We hiked every morning, and swam every afternoon. It felt so amazing to move my body this much. Working as I do, and with 3 kids, I don't get out much any more. I'm usually sitting in the car, on the computer, at my art table or standing in the kitchen or laundry room. And I've been terrible about exercise these past 2 years. Ooooooooh it felt so good. Every morning I'd have a fresh papaya from the tree in the back yard, hike on mostly unmarked trails and explored the back jungles, have fresh fruit and veggies from the road side stands for lunch, and then go swim in the ocean for hours on end. It was such a wake up call to the busy crazy life we've been pulling.

So, I won't bore you with all the details of the trip, but rather shower you with pictures and maybe you can have a moment of paradise just looking.

God really smiled when he made Hana. I think he must have been just giddy. I mean, just look!

And see how cute my parents are? I love that we got to explore and be little kids together....it was so perfect to be with them with out the kids, and actually have uninterrupted time together. Precious.

And the pictures don't even do it justice. I almost cried when I looked at my camera on the last day. It just doesn't touch the smells, the sounds and the feeling of this place. It's honestly sacred ground!

And in Hana, it's a colorful feast. Flowers growing everywhere. I think I'll save an entire post on just color. So much color! I feel like I've been starved and this was just the feast I needed.

But really. I just unplugged. I'm kinda not ready to get back. And I don't think I will all the way. Spending a week using all of my senses all day every day, without the buzz of what can be unecessary business and time wasters, I'm definitely my full self again and don't plan on going back to any old habits that kept me from living in the now.

Which, of course is easier said than done. But this was a for sure jump in the right direction. Mahalo, Hana!