Choices.
September 3, 2008 8:41 am
Just try saying ‘No’ to that face.
As I write this, I really should be working. I should be cleaning, or folding laundry…or printing off cards or shipping orders. Or a numerous pile of tasks in my head that keep swirling around and around because I have children and often feel limitless in my capacity to do anything. When I have the time….I soar. I get so much done. I produce mounds of crinkled paper filling my waste all marked with completed “TO DO” lists. The key factor which seems to be disturbing my mood at the moment, is TIME. I don’t have that TIME everyone is always asking for. IF I had time…WHEN I have time…IF I ONLY had time. Here is the truth folks: It doesn’t come. At least for me it doesn’t. I keep begging for my fairy tale story to come true: I am swept off my feet to a far away land where someone (a fairy princess-maid-housecleaner-mommy-of-sorts) tends to my children for 3 full days while I create, draw, color, catch up, organize and sort out my world. Well, so far, no “bibbity-bobbity-boo” is happening here. And how come? Because I am a mom. A blessed, happy, crazy-in-love-with-my-children MOM. And there is something marvelous about this role I play: I have to make choices. Making choices is empowering. Yet, I will admit there are moments when I am envious of the artists I admire who seem to have their entire day dedicated to their art and work. In my case, I am left to choose how I am most happy…and for me, it includes raising my children FIRST and then growing my business SECOND. Translation: Not everything gets done in a day.
Now don’t get me wrong: I love being a mother. It is the most sacred role, and every day I am tickled by the little miracles that take place in my home. The kisses, the hugs, and “I’m sorry’s” and all the playing and tickling…I don’t want to be anywhere else. This is what I love most in my life. But, I am also a creative personality with a strong commitment to bringing my unique style to others, and so I am required to find balance. And I truly consider an opportunity for growth.
“How do you do it all?” I get asked all the time. It is really humerous to hear people ask me this, because I was always the one asking other people (still am actually). But this is what I tell people: I DON’T do it all. I don’t think that any one can! Either you are a full time mom with a business on the side, or you are a full time business owner, with children by your side. I choose the full time mom role, and to be honest, it is where I am the happiest. BUT IT IS HARD: sometimes it feels like my full time mothering is being jabbed by my nearly full time career. Both take up every spare second, and I am constantly forced to reorganize, reprioritize, and reevaluate. Not every month, not every week…but about ever half hour. “I can either take the kids to the park, or let them play quietly while I answer emails” “I can stay up late and finish my work, or I can just wake up early, and hope the kids sleep past 6 am” etc. There are always choices to be made…Life balance isn’t something you arrive at, it is something you are constantly rocking back and forth between. And I am grateful for it…it keeps me in check. It assures that I am doing what makes my world happy. More on this later…but I just want to say that this has been a HUGE topic rolling around in my head. Balance is everything.
Which leads me to make some choices: This week, I will introduce you to some helping hands I am hiring to get me through the holidays. I will also be getting rid of some products in my shop, and increasing my shipping time by a couple days. All this with the intentions of letting me be more ‘present’ in my home, bringing more creativity to Sarah Jane Studios as well as simplify my world a bit so I can step back and keep making choices. I have found when life is over flowing with too many good things, we are left with too little time and energy to make choices. Good choices. The kinds of choices that make you swim forward rather then treading water. I may be cutting back on a few other things, but for now, shipping times will be set back a couple days, and blogging might get spread out a bit more. But I can assure you I will be posting my progress in my effort for more life balance…a wonderful journey for anyone seeking true wholeness and wellness. (I am feeling the urge to do some yoga at the moment…)
So, today, thanks for listening. Thanks for understanding. Thanks for all your support. I would love to hear what you have learned in this journey as well, and encourage you to comment, think about it, and chime in when you find something that has worked for you. This will be an on going topic for me, so stay tuned.
In the mean time, I leave you with this quote:
I become a positive influence
by standing in opposition to
what matters least by choosing
to live for what matters most.
~Lee Wise
xoxo,
sarah jane
Categories: on being a mom, on being an artist
Grand Reopening July 6th!
susan :
Date: September 3, 2008 @ 9:58 am
This was a great post Sarah! Its exciting to watch your business change and grow as needed.
Kasie@~The Art of Life :
Date: September 3, 2008 @ 10:25 am
(((Hugs)))
I understand this so well. It’s a topic that has been on my mind almost constantly: balance.
I really like what you said about making choices and reprioritizing every half hour. I think that truly might be the key. Today going to the park might be more important. Tomorrow it may be the emails. For those of us who have both a creative calling and a calling to Motherhood, I think constant reevaluation is a must.
I often look at the Moms who seem to have it all together but have to remind myself that I’m only seeing a snippet of their life. When an artist Mom admits that she too struggles to find balance, her honesty is so refreshing and encouraging. It reminds me that I’m not alone. We’re all in this awesome journey together.
April~Living The Sweet Life :
Date: September 3, 2008 @ 11:25 am
You have basically summed up how I have been feeling lately. I worked a 12 hour day yesterday(photography) and didn’t even get a chance to post on sweet life in the valley in all those 12 hours. As a sinlge work at home mom photographer & blogger life gets crazy with all there is to do. p.s. I still want to get the rest on my month prints…soon. Your work is beautiful!
April
Ashley :
Date: September 3, 2008 @ 12:48 pm
Sarah,
I am breathing a sigh of relief that I am not the only one out there with this exact topic on my mind. I am always trying to find more “time” — your posting hit home — it doesn’t exist — and I am having a hard time excepting that. I have never thought of myself as a “super hero”, but I am expecting “super” acts all the time. Why do we do this to ourselves?
It is nice to know that I am not alone in this great balancing act. I grateful for the tips you share, and I really do look up to you as someone I would like to become more like. You are a wonderful Mother and artist!
Sarah Jane :
Date: September 3, 2008 @ 1:10 pm
oh wow! You guys are awesome!
Ashley: AMEN! isn’t it hard to accept that those BIG chunks of time really don’t happen enough to really rely on them…and so it takes using the time you DO have! April, Kasie and Susan: You are not a lone! Nice to know that you make the best use of your time..and sometimes that means putting things aside. Thanks! I am looking forward to posting more “life lessons” from all this!
Pretty Jane :
Date: September 3, 2008 @ 2:30 pm
I am SO WITH YOU on this–and yay for you, building the time you and your family need right into your goals for your studio. Forgive me if I take a page from your book and extend MY shipping time by a couple days this season, too! I gotta get a system down before this new baby comes… Oh, I love inspiration! Thanks!
Angela Henrie :
Date: September 3, 2008 @ 4:04 pm
We can’t do EVERYTHING! The sooner we accept this, the happier we will be. (We are not ocopusi (spelling?), right?) There’s a time for everything. Kids grow up SO fast, you don’t want to miss a bit!
Your Name liz :
Date: September 3, 2008 @ 10:51 pm
i am where you are at in life -two kids ages 4 and 18 months (and the 18 month old feels more like 3 kids then 1. . . ), but feel the need to create and do something that is just mine. but i do have to tell myself (often), that the season of my life that i’m in right now doesn’t really leave me loads of free creative time and to just slow down and enjoy.
i appreciate the motherly insight that you share. it often helps remind me what my priorities should be.
Cocoa :
Date: September 3, 2008 @ 11:26 pm
BALANCE. I think that’s one of the biggest challenges we face today as mothers, women, wives, etc. Each thing we like to do is good on it’s own and each fills a need we have. Without them we fill incomplete so finding that balance is critical and, unfortunately, a never ending process.
Wonderfully written post!
Rachel :
Date: September 3, 2008 @ 11:48 pm
there were about 9 things you said that i was either nodding my head or thinking “WELL PUT” … you had me at “swimming forward instead of treading water”, “readjusting every 1/2 hour”, and the “full time mommy w/ a business on the side”. you are so wise & honest. i so admire you for realizing this all NOW & not when it’s too far gone.
i think readjusting priorities every HALF HOUR is the best advice ever. with that as a policy, i don’t see how you can go wrong.
i really have no insight to share… because i’m just as guilty. but the one thing i know i need to do better - is to listen to my children’s voices & body language. oftentimes when we’re busy writing a blog post or sending an e-mail or working on a project {guilty}, it’s easy for us to think to think of their interruptions & requests as pestering or nagging. but maybe that’s just our “1/2 hour priority adjustment” timer going off!!!!!
ha! maybe we’ve (i’ve) been doin’ whatever it is i’m doin’ just a little too long. they’re bored, they need a snack or a drink… or in other words THEY NEED US.
today while my boys were at school & my little daughter was napping, i painted. when my 4 year old son got home he gushed at what a good job i did. and i guess my only hope is that he continues to LOVE knowing his mommy’s an artist & an entrepreneur and not despise it or hold a grudge. so i guess, that’s what could help me find my balance. is if i know my kids still love what i do & love me for doing it… then i know i’m good with them & all is right in our world.
and now my novel is done. the end.
Elise :
Date: September 4, 2008 @ 4:46 am
Hi Sarah
It\’s all about prioritising and being being very clear in your own mind about what your core values are. I couldn\’t agree more about constantly re- evaluating priorities and being flexible to suit the daily demands of life.
Love
Elise
Your Name kg :
Date: September 4, 2008 @ 7:02 am
Hey! I just have to say once more how much I love your stuff… and in fact, now your blog is a regular read for me. So glad to have stumbled upon your Etsy site!! Everything you said in this post resonates with me… I’m not a working artist (yet!), but I struggle with balancing being an SAHM and carving out some time for myself to do whatever… I mean, there’s a marriage thrown in the mix too, as you well know!
It’s tough, so to hear someone who appears to be “doing it all” articulate exactly how I’m feeling doesn’t make me groan and say, “Oh… it’s as hard as I thought…”, but quite the opposite; it makes me breathe a sigh of relief to know that every day - for everyone - is a progression littered with multiple decisions, struggles, and responsibilities and that it CAN be done in spite of all that.
Your post makes me think of the poem which ends (and you’ve probably heard this one already): “Cleaning and dusting can wait ’til tomorrow, / For babies grow up, as we’ve learned to our sorrow. / So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust, go to sleep. / I’m rocking my baby, and babies don’t keep.”
Have a good rest-of-the-week! kg
sarah jane :
Date: September 4, 2008 @ 7:56 am
Wow…thanks you guys! So well said. I really believe that as we are tending to our roles as mothers first, everything else works out. Sure, it might take longer to work out our dreams, but there will be no regrets. KG: i love that poem. I have heard it so many times before, but somehow haven’t been reminded of it till now. Thanks! In my moments of stress, when I want to work instead of not work, I go back to my memories of early childhood. I don’t remember the state of the house (dirty counters, etc) I just remember having a mom who dropped everything to be with her kids. SOmetimes it helps to make choices based on what I think my children are thinking and feeling at the moment…and everyone is happy! THanks guys. Also, I totally agree with “the husband in the mix!” He is my best source of encouragement, but he is also my best “perspective checker.” We make sure to have a date night every weekend, and that I am not staying up late every night. So in nut shell: Having a business is TOTALLY doable…it just takes maintaining relationships and being self aware constantly to make sure you are TRULY happy. THAT is success.
Zoe :
Date: September 4, 2008 @ 10:08 am
did you read my mind?Honestly, I’ve been thinking exactly the same things just recently and well, I couldn’t have said it better. What a lovely post : )
Vana :
Date: September 4, 2008 @ 7:08 pm
You nailed it Sarah! I struggle with this so much…I think if I am not good enough at doing both, I won’t succeed…WRONG! You are right, we can’t do EVERYTHING>..I am so glad you spoke about this, because it has been on my mind so much recently. Like right now, i think i should spend time with my little guy…so i will stop commenting, but wanted you to know how thankful i am to you for touching on subjects like this…sometime we are too proud to accept the truth, ya know!
Sarah Jane :
Date: September 4, 2008 @ 7:44 pm
totally agree vana: I think we hold on to too much pride, when really, I think Martha Stewart gets a little disorganized and imbalanced too. But Actually… if she had babies, and kids…and a husband for that matter…she wouldn’t be Martha Stewart:) So there you go:) Having to balance more makes us even stronger!;:)
Vanessa :
Date: September 7, 2008 @ 3:02 pm
I am glad you are a A blessed, happy, crazy-in-love-with-my-children MOM
Your Name jenny macdonad :
Date: September 8, 2008 @ 12:47 pm
When I started doing art again I realized I was not cut out for multi-tasking! If I focus on anything other than mothering I am a shorter with my kids so I do hardly any and only at night. I admire people that can do it and still run there home well. I think you do a great job Sar. Look at what you have accomplished!
Jamie R Lentzner :
Date: September 8, 2008 @ 6:04 pm
Sarah Jane - it is good for you that you realized this sooner rather than later - I unfortunatley realized it way too late. Now, my children did not suffer but my sleep and my employees did. It is ironic that we start a business from home because we love staying at home with our children, and we love doing someting creative - and one always seems to be asking for our un-divided attention. The business and your creativitiy and talent will ALWAYS (yes I am yelling) be there - your small children, not so much. I am enjoying my children as much as I can now, and I am living in the moment - do what you need to do and don’t apologize, your customers will still be there. Staying away from my computer and reading all that everyone else is accomplishing - that is what helps me. Take care of yourself!
Rebecca :
Date: September 9, 2008 @ 6:41 am
Great post, Sarah! You really inspire me. You will tell us which prints you’re discontinuing before you let them go completely, right? I would be sad to miss out on one of my favorites…
Your Name Kelly :
Date: September 19, 2008 @ 9:55 am
WOW! You said it girl!!! We beat ourselves up way too much as moms. We have the best and toughest jobs out there, I feel. We need the support from each other that you shared!!! We need to lift each other up and be happy of our accomplishments, however big or small each day!! Thanks for sharing! Kelly
Michelle :
Date: September 21, 2008 @ 4:02 pm
I think you spelled out everything that’s been swimming around in my head in recent months. Beautifully said! I loved it when you mentioned having to …”make choices every half an hour…”. THAT is what it’s all about. Fine-tuning and feeling what is right for that moment. If my priority wasn’t to raise my girls’ first, then I would be churning out dozens of new illustrations every week. Alas, the laundry, bills, dinner, cleaning all need to get in line too. Continually taming the chaos and relishing in the simple moments…