You know when you have one of “those” weeks? It still seems ironic that I’m speaking on the balance of home life and work life this next week at ALT.

Maybe this week came as a reminder at how precious that balance can be!

This week:

Ella had the croup (including major breathing scare), stomach flu and head cold

Ian: head cold and stomach flu

Addie: Head cold

Me: Stomach flu and head cold

Kenneth: miraculously steered clear, but was designated laundry doer

All while…

I finished a fabric line due this week (oooh! It’s cute!!) and managed to pull 2 all nighters and several other rather intensive nights of work

I finished a chapter book illustrations due this week

I spoke in Relief Society (my church’s women’s organization) on entrepreneurship

My trusty $$$ printer of 5 years died  on me right in the middle of a very long and important job

Prepped for speaking at ALT this week (boy…do I have a lot to say on family balance!)

And managed to really start my sugar free living. It’s awesome by the way.

* * * * *

Let’s just say I’m pretty pooped. And in very good spirits because we have a 3 day weekend.

But in thinking about this MYTH of work life balance, I really do have a lot to say.

I’ve had some really awesome discussions with my fellow speakers, Brooke from INCHMARK, Kathryn from SNIPPET AND INK, CHRYSULA from Chrysula Winegar …… and they all have such wonderful insights. But I think we’ve all come to agree that “balance” doesn’t mean do all things well all the time, on time and in time. Rather, it means that you shift from section to section in your life, in good communication with those who support you (your spouse, etc.) and that you are realistic about what you need to do and when.

This week was one of those exception weeks when it all comes to a head and all energy is focused forward.

There are other weeks when the home is the main project. And then maybe work deadlines fall into the next week’s focus. There really isn’t such thing as doing it “all.” And that I guess is a big part of what I’m speaking of on Thursday.

When I am working really intensely on designing, my laundry piles up. High. And then when I’m getting house projects done, I get a little behind on work. But it’s an ebb and flow, and that’s called balance.

I think for a very long time I was plagued by this false notion that to be a good mom and to keep a good house, I’d have to be all things for all people. Ha! That idea didn’t last long.

Now, my family is just as much a part of my work as my work is a part of my family. It’s a dance that is hard to really outline, but it’s worked out so far due to a fantastic husband who comes home from work and cooks dinner, and my kids who are so incredibly supportive of their artist mom.

Just yesterday Addie proudly came out of her room wearing all her Sarah Jane attire. She hugged me and said “I love wearing all your art, Mommy.”

I’m still in game of learning how to swing less dramatically from project to project, and I’m pressed on capturing those “still” moments and holding onto them as long as possible. Being still, taking time to enjoy each moment for what it is, is so vital to balanced living. My home will never be Martha Steward ready but my home can be happy and filled with laughter (even when one of the family members…I won’t say who….dropped all the fresh eggs from the day on the floor yesterday) which to me is a perfectly balanced home.

I won’t say it’s easy. There is a rhythm that is so personal to our home and to Kenneth and I. He’s out in the garage designing a trade show booth with the kids, while I have Addie on my studio floor drawing while I work on a deadline.  But that’s the way we roll. Most days my work is done when the kids come home from school, and I won’t touch it again until they are in bed. But work still creeps into family living, and it’s been a learning curve these past couple years. But it’s all beautiful!

I’ll be sharing more of what we discuss at ALT during our panel. If you are attending, be sure to come! It’s going to be powerhouse. Lot’s of ideas for sure!

And, because I can’t post without a sketch of the day:

Slow and steady wins the race.

Cheers!

I came across a poem in October that I haven’t been able to get out of my mind.

Had I the heavens’ embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

~ W.B. Yeats

Do you know that one? I found it while watching videos of this brilliant man, and he referred to it in regards to eductation and what we are offering our children.

It makes me think about what children offer to the world, and how we, in the name of responsibility, sense, reason or just plan ignorance, often sweep it underfoot. Or, worse, step on it.  Sometimes twice. It makes me pause to think.

I am still a dreamer. And yet I am responsible for 3 little dreamers. I take that very seriously. Very.

I watched the Muppet Movie over Christmas holiday. I cried. Twice. And not just because I am a Muppet Fan. But because I believe in dreams. The basic good in people. The power of seeing something that doesn’t yet exist, but could. That’s what life is about really. Chasing the things that really matter, but might seem silly in the eyes of an ever changing world.

So this year, I’m resolving to do more than just lose weight, get our little home more organized,  journal our family’s life better, and be healthier (which was last year’s list. And the year before…oh dear.)

This year, I’m resolving to lose the stress and let the harsh world stay away a little bit more.

Laugh more

Dream more

Pay attention to silly ideas

Color my world brighter

Listen to those tiny whispers of an idea

Get on the floor and play more

You’d think that because I’m an artist for children that I spend my days in la-la land with pencils and crayons, creating mermaids and rockets with my kids all day. Ha! I wish.  On the contrary, I’m constantly in a battle between the stresses of motherhood and my own creativity.  It’s a balancing act that I fight for every day. Truly.

Like today, when I had a fantastic idea I wanted to illustrate on even just scrap paper or a napkin even…but we ended up doing dental work on one child, a spontaneous new school visit for another child, a no nap day for the other child….and pretty soon my mind is in a “can we afford this?…My kitchen is a mess!…how can we rearrange our schedule to make this work?…Ack! the library books are due….Ooops…I forgot to call so-and-so….Don’t forget to go sign the kid’s school papers….Turn around…you missed the exit….” and so on and so on.  Not to mention the hours and hours of work I do daily.

The Mommy Brain I call it. And while that is all part of being a parent, it challenges the space I have in my heart for the things that make life beautiful, or are too whimsical to make it to the top of the list. And oooooooh that list gets long. The stress of a parent is my biggest enemy.  I confess that I’ve become a worrier. Something a parent can only really understand.  You know what I mean?

Silly, really.

So this year….2012

I’m waking up more lighthearted. I’m believing in what’s in my gut. I’m listening to my children’s unfinished and messy ideas. I’m offering my heart and not my head. I’m letting go of the worry.

What about you? Are you re-evaluating the way you are seeing this year?

Me too.

xo

sarah

Oh! PS:

I almost forgot to tell you! I don’t think that I mentioned that the 2012 Calendar is 50% off now! There’s a limit on these ones…just so you are aware. And I while I made these last year, it sure seems to fit my feelings as of late:)

Available here and here.

This Sunday is Mother’s Day. I’m really lucky, because I’m going to get breakfast in bed from my 3 littles. I get to go to church. I will be with my family, and my children will make me love notes. My husband will write me love notes. My kids won’t fight and it will be a perfect day. I might even get a nap.

Once a year we get spoiled, right?

Well, it’s something I’ve been thinking about lately, and something I think about every Mother’s Day. I actually don’t feel much different on Mother’s Day because I (for the most part, and on most good days) feel so priveledged to be a mom every.single.day. My children give me kisses and hugs and thank you’s. And when I wake up at the crack of dawn from their pitter-patter footsteps, I put aside the fatigue because I would rather have those little alarm clocks than none at all.

I could go on and on about motherhood, how grateful I am to be what I am, and how I wish all women could feel this way about their mothering. But what I will say, is that my friend Melanie Burke pointed me to this site created by our local news channel (which she designed.) It’s geared to help women feel empowered (rather than disabled) by their own mothering. How cool is that? The local news station supporting women by saying this:

Popular culture promises that by recognizing and focusing on our own needs, we will find empowerment.  In reality it creates a culture of comparison, distraction and discontent, none of which lead to empowerment.  The act of mothering … caring for, teaching, and nurturing, has just the opposite effect.  It emboldens us with confidence, contentment and purpose.

Sometimes I feel like the world around me (except for my church, my neighborhood, the blogging world I participate in and my friends and family) has forgotten this primal need women have to nurture and to give. And how that is a central part of our character.

I am just super proud that the media hasn’t forgotten that notion entirely. If you are in Utah, KSL is having a Motherhood Matters week. But you don’t have to be from Utah to Participate. There is a 10 day Motherhood Challenge here. A Giveaway Site Here. And more information here.

What about you? Do you let motherhood empower you?

Whew! What a weekend. We’ve been picking up the pieces after having a booth at the Bijou Market, and now getting ready  for our booth at Quilt Market in 4 weeks. And then there have been a few hiccups like having our mini-van in the shop for 2 weeks after a terrible car crash (did you see that one on my twitter?) and oh….did I mention that my brother is getting married this week? Mix in a few colds and normal life with kids and a house and yard, and this is what the house has been looking like:

The one thing that goes first when things get crazy are the normal: dishes and laundry…and floors, and well….it all just seems a blur sometimes. So, lest you think that life behind the screen is as pretty as my blog facade, please take notice: running a full-time shop & business with freelancing books and designs while mothering 3 kids who are home most of the day isn’t always roses.

Like these clothes at the bottom of the stairs? I think they’ve been there for at least 3 days now.

And I’m not even showing you my car or laundry room!

Sometimes, I think we’re so used to seeing things with such a pretty spin on blogs these days (and for good reason–it’s important for me to focus on the positive when I blog…it keeps me motivated to see the beautiful during every day life…which is oh so needed when life is less than pretty)….it’s important for you to know that as glamourous as it sounds to be a book illustrator, blogger, fabric designer, home owner….things aren’t necessarily pretty around here! It takes a lot of focus to keep it all in check.

I still don’t have it figured out! But since I am the housekeeper AND everything else….the role of housekeeper does take a back seat when things get overly busy. I don’t like it at all. I hate a messy house! But….it’s the sacrifice you make for running an at home business and being an artist. It just is.

And it goes along perfectly with my all time favorite motto (poem):

The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
for children grow up, as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.

-by Ruth Hamilton, 1958

And so there you have it. Real life today.  I just went around my house clicking the camera today…no edits here.

But with that, I will say that the combination of your AMAZING responses on the survey (which ends today, FYI), and the need to make some changes around here to let this growing business suit our family a bit better, you will be seeing some changes around the shop. And soon. So stay tuned! It’s always hard to make changes, but since I’ve been in this for my family from the very beginning, changes are inevitable. I’ll talk more about that later…

Happy Monday!

Can I just tell you. I have the best job in the world. I wake up to 3 ready-to-explore-the-world-children. I get to spend time in my home all day. I get to read picture books as much as I want. I get to draw for kids. I get to see the world like children do all day. Oh, and there are all the other minor things like laundry, dishes, carpooling, budgeting, lessons, mopping, and working late hours after kids are in bed. But truthfully, I can’t think of a better job doing what I love to do, at home.

Tonight I was sketching on the floor while the kids were playing, and Addie asked me to draw her. She had just chopped a good 6 inches of her hair into a darling bob, and wanted to pose for me. She loves to pose. Like most kids love to be in front of mommy’s camera, Addie loves to pose while I draw. And most times, she comes and finishes the drawing how she likes it. Tonight, she wanted a crown, a bow, a tutu and added the text on her shirt and some flip flops. And to be honest, it looks better after she touched it.

Juvenile line. I’ve been thinking a lot about how my children draw, and how it reflects how they see the world. And how what I draw and see is so different than what they draw and see. It’s an interesting concept: they see so much more, but draw so much less. And truly, that is the art I hope to re-achieve someday. True art is expressing as much as possible in as little as possible. And that ‘juvinile line’…a child’s expression which exposes in part how they see their world….makes all the difference.

We’ve been so lucky to have a garden this year. Our yard was, well, in ruins when we purchased it. And with a little love, we (well, my strong and burly husband) were able to knock out a few mangly briars and dead trees to reveal a once-upon-a-time-this-was-a-garden area. The children have had so much fun watching their seeds grow into edible treats. Garden’s are magic for kids. And to me, it’s like watching my own children grow.

Granted, we didn’t start the cherries from seed. But we brought a rather untamed one back to life. Oh, they’re yummy!

But there’s more growing than just snap peas and cherries here. Grown garden, grow.

My sketchbooks are incredible works of art. And I say that completely without ego. See, I can’t draw in a sketchbook without 2 minutes going by when all my kids are surrounding me wanting to either 1) comment 2) color in my drawings with the nearest crayon or 2) share the chair and draw with me on the same page. What this means is that I go through phases of drawing with my kids. Sometimes it proves to be simply a supervised drawing session for them. Even though they have their own sketchbooks, they prefer to just draw in mine. But that’s wonderful too, because I see in them budding artists. Addie already is quick to tell me I am off a bit on this or that. And I have to tell you…she is very quick to say that she is the best artist in the ENTIRE universe. Don’t you think so? I thought you’d agree.

Dear Reader who wonders how I have time to do creative things,

What you need to know about being an Artist and a Mom and a Book Maker:

You will be absolutely lousy without help.

May I introduce you to man who  makes things happen around here? Oh, and have I mentioned he happens to be the most amazing man on the planet?

Say “Hi” to Kenneth. He’s the love of my life. Not only has he been on kid duty while I finish up the book at full speed, but he’s the King Gardener, Fixer-Upper, Royal Chef, Fort Maker, Grocery Shopper, and Make-Believe Player and even does the dishes. He is basically makes this whole book making process wonderful. That, and he is a writer and storyteller himself, so he understands how this all works…and enjoys it too! We don’t live close to either of our parents, and with 3 young kids in the mix, having long stretches of time to do anything is out of the question. But thanks to my school-teacher husband who has the summer off to let me work, it’s been amazing.  And on top of all that, he keeps things fun around here. He is the one that keeps me laughing when I get too stressed and knows how to have a good time when things are a bit crazy. I am seriously in love. I am so blessed to be married to my best friend. Like, really blessed.

The kids think so too.

So, when I look at my life and wonder why I haven’t cracked yet, it’s cause of him.

The end.

xo

Sarah

PS: New summertime art is in the shop today!

“With the past, I have nothing to do; nor with the future. I live now.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I am in the final stages of this book, and it’s taken a lot of dicipline for me to get work done. But in this case, my work isn’t typical “work.” It requires a very lucid and creative mind, which under the normal pressures of mothering young children, is usually the first thing to go out the window.

It’s made me think a bit:

How can I keep my creativity from sagging while spending most of my day in exhausting responsibilities?  Especially motherhood responsibilities?

I am a young mother. I’m 30. I have 3 kids all at home, under school age. That means from 6 am – 8 pm I am 110% with my kids. Feeding, playing, cleaning, teaching, driving, disciplining, scheduling, paying bills, calling, observing, making lists, and then feeding, playing, cleaning, kissing and bedding. For 14 hours a day. And then, at 8pm (lately 7pm since my husband is on kid duty for all the “I can’t fall asleep” moments) I am illustrating. Now don’t get me wrong. I LOVE motherhood. I absolutely adore being with my kids, and we love being all together. I am so blessed to be a mother, and try and live every day in gratitude for these 3 precious blessings. We have a lot of fun around here. But….let’s keep it real. Motherhood is hard work.

This I know: Nothing kills creativity more than 1) exhaustion and 2) scheduled mundane responsibilities

How does a young mother with so many responsibilities all day, shift into “play mode” herself when the exhaustion sets in?

I can’t say I have the answer, but I have found one.  And since I think (I hope) there are others of you out there like me, I hope this helps.

Living in the present.

What I know about creativity is that it flows freely when we are loosed from the past and not gripped by the future. We must be fully present to have full access to our creativity.  This might seem obvious to some, but what tangles it up are the duties of motherhood which so easily catch us up with worries about the future, thoughts of the past and how fast our children are leaving it, and the duties of the present day which often lead to exhaustion and what I call “robot mode:” going through the list of to-do’s as quickly as possible but finding by the end we feel like a machine; a feeding, cleaning, cooking, running around machine.

How often, for instance, are you talking on the phone and getting your kids dressed and making breakfast on the stove? Happens a lot around here. Nothing is wrong with multi-tasking, but it can keep us from being present minded.

But how, do you ask, can we stay present minded when there are so many responsibilities pressuring us all around?

1) Be aware. Notice the chubby legs when you are putting them through those pant holes. Listen to the sound of the scrambled eggs popping. Watch the leaves blowing when you are on a walk with the kids. Feel the soft cotton when you are folding clothes. Your senses will be hightened even amidst routine work, and your mind will focus on the ‘now.’

2) Slow down: Look at your list of things to do, and knock out half. You will most likely only get a few done anyways, so don’t let your mind worry about more than it can handle. Do one at a time and do them well and to completion.

3) Breathe: Taking time to center yourself physically is vital. It doesn’t have to be yoga or a full hour of mediation. Even just 10 deep breathes with your body in an open, strethed position can wake up your cells to a full sense of being alive.

4) Have gratitude: Love what you do and embrace what comes every day. When you are doing the dishes be grateful for the food you have. When you picking random clothes everywhere, be grateful for fun loving children, that though messy, are yours. This turns work into joy. This brings your mind to the present and frees you of unnessesary stresses.

5) Notice how children see the world: Children are creative beings by definition. They are constantly living in the ‘now.’ They can’t comprehend the future, and they aren’t capable of digesting the past. They are in a constant state of awareness and discovery. Notice how their work is their play, and their play is their work. They can find joy in a simple accomplishment. They can find joy in a simple beauty. Adults can re-learn this skill and in doing so, discover creativity in their daily work.

This is my focus this month. I will be honest, and say that these 5 things are easily forgotten in this crazy world. But I do know, that by letting myself be present minded in my daily work as a mother allows for creativity to shine through what would normal squish it. It’s a challenge for sure, and it takes constant reminding. But it works.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this too. It’s a journey that I think so many of us are on, and we can learn so much from each other!

“The living moment is everything.” - D.H. Lawrence

Love to you all,

Sarah

Theses three sets of chubby cheeks make me a mother this Mother’s Day.

I can’t think of a better gift.

And if you haven’t seen it already, this video simply made my mother’s day. This sweet soul inspires us all to live up to the calling of Motherhood.

May your weekend be full of many snuggles and hugs…to and from mothers and children of all ages!

Happy Mother’s Day!